Sometimes I meet a non-gestational parent for whom inducing lactation is not a fit for their body or their life. The good news is that lactation is not the only way a parent and their baby can benefit from the comfort and connection of a breastfeeding relationship or the ideal nutrition and immunities of human milk. Let's break it down...

BREASTFEEDING = BREAST + FEEDING

Latching baby at the BREAST without making milk

Comfort nursing. Non-lactating parents can latch their baby at their breast for comfort without any flow of milk, much as they would use a pacifier. Honestly, the breast was the original pacifier! Just as not every baby is interested in taking pacifier, not every baby is interested in comfort nursing. You may need to meet your baby before you know whether comfort nursing will interest them.

Even if your baby may be interested in comfort nursing, they will quickly become frustrated if offered latching at your breast (without flow) if they are hungry....

A note about language. It is an important part of an inclusive lactation practice to use language that is affirming and inclusive for all parents, regardless of gender identity. In my speaking and writing, I use 'parent' rather than 'mother'. I also use the terms 'breast' and 'breastfeeding' because according to medical terminology, the breast is both a female and a male body part.¹  However, in working with parents, I believe it is essential to reflect back the language used by the parent rather use than my own terms.

I've had the privilege of supporting many queer families on their journey to parenthood, whether through birth, adoption, or surrogacy. When a non-birthing partner induces lactation, both parents may  choose to share the breastfeeding/lactating role, called co-lactating, co-breastfeeding, co-nursing, or co-feeding.  It's truly a beautiful experience to see parents come together to share in the joy and responsibility of feeding their little...

What is relactation all about?

It is basically the process of restarting lactation after discontinuing...even if you chose not to lactate from the start. Relactation may occur after days, weeks, or months. It is a journey that requires time, effort, the right strategies, and of course, support.

Start with your 'how'

Understand how you got to this point in the first place. Perhaps, you simply weren't interested in breastfeeding when your baby arrived. Or maybe you wanted to breastfeed, but stopped because of lack of support, pain while breastfeeding, milk production issues, illness, or emotional barriers. Once you understand how you got here, ask yourself whether that situation has been resolved. If not, addressing the reason you discontinued lactation is the first step towards relactation. You might need the help of an IBCLC, your physician, or a mental health provider.
 

Next, dive into your 'why'. 

Why would you like to resume lactation? Some common reasons include...

If you're considering inducing lactation as an adoptive parent, I'm here to support you every step of the way. As a fellow adoptive parent, I understand the unique challenges and joys that come with this journey.

Inducing lactation can create a special bond between you and your baby, providing numerous benefits such as supporting attachment and providing essential nutrients and immunities...especially important when attachment and physical health may be impaired by poor or lack of prenatal care or prenatal substance exposure^1,2. Breastfeeding may also offer a sense of normalcy after a long and often unexpected road to parenthood. It even connects you with your baby on a biological level -- genetic material in the adoptive parent’s milk (microRNA) affects how the baby's genes get expressed.^3,4.And for those of you of the Muslim faith, it is an avenue to meet the milk kinship requirement^5,6,7.

I know that the process of inducing lactation as an adoptive parent can be filled with...

Considering inducing lactation as an intended parent? Surrogacy is the most common circumstance among my clients inducing lactation. And that's not surprising -- the original protocols for inducing lactation were developed for intended mother Lenore Goldfarb by pediatrician Jack Newman.¹ 
The long lead time for preparing and the stability of the surrogacy arrangement make it very conducive to inducing lactation.

Human milk provides the nutrition and immunities every baby needs. And breastfeeding is such a natural and beautiful way to bond with your little one, which may be especially important for parents who did not carry their baby in utero. For those who have struggled with infertility, the ability to produce milk without pregnancy can also be a healing experience -- a superpower, if you will.

Since the development of the Newman-Goldfarb Protocols for Induced Lactation®, we have learned a lot. Start by learning some basics of inducing lactation and schedule your first...

Make Milk. No Ovaries Needed. Inducing lactation for individuals without ovaries is a topic that's not often discussed, but it's important for trans and intersex women who may be interested in this process.

If you're already taking hormones as part of your gender affirmation journey, that can serve as the baseline for your inducing lactation plan. Hormone therapy can play a key role in inducing lactation, and it's essential to work closely with your healthcare team to adjust your therapy accordingly. Approaches to hormones for trans and intersex women are generally is as follows:

• Step 1: Estrogen is increased, sometimes gradually. Progesterone is added.
• Steps 2 and 3: Estrogen is discontinued or decreased to simulate menopausal levels. Although generally discontinued in case studies found in research, my clinical experience indicates maintaining progesterone may be helpful throughout lactation.^{1,2,3.4.5,6,7,8,9,10,11}

Some parents find a low or no estrogen dose difficult...